I remember when I was trying to process my trauma, someone in my recovery group recommended that I take some deep breaths. Here I was, getting swallowed up in memories from my past, and she was telling me to breathe. I thought she was joking, but I heeded her advice, and lo and hold, she was right.

Deep breaths worked. Who knew what we do subconsciously when applied with conscious thought, could bring such serenity? Certainly not me. Now, it's a favorite tool in my toolkit, a reminder that I have the power to calm my mind and body when tensions start to rise.

Learning how to identify and then manage our triggers is one of the most important part our journeys toward a healthy lifestyle. It can also be one of the most challenging, so it’s important to make sure you give yourself grace as move through this part of your recovery and healing.

As you move along your journey, you may experience a myriad of complicated feelings. They’re like cracks in your self-esteem and self-worth. You may even consider yourself broken, perhaps beyond repair. I want to assure you this is not the case. Your experiences make you valuable. They make you who you are today: a strong, determined individual, who's putting one foot in front of the other as you move towards a healthier and happier you. The fact that your human spirit keeps striving towards betterment is a testament that you are not broken. Instead, you're using your experiences to redefine and strengthen yourself.

One of the most challenging parts of recovering and healing is going through triggers and accepting they may happen. Triggers, especially in the beginning, can pop up out of nowhere, and we need to have some tools in our toolkit to manage them.

One of those great tools comes from DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy) called ACCEPTS

Automatic Negative Thoughts (aka ANTs because they can line up and march around our brain) can hinder our forward progress. I also called it my "addict voice" because it liked to whisper those negative thoughts in my ear when I was feeling BLASTed (bored, lonely, angry, stressed, tired).

We need to learn to run with patience:

•       We can benefit more from recovery and healing when we aren’t trying to rush the growth.

•       We can commit to the process.

•       We can settle in and allow the progression of self-discovery to happen.

Resolutions

•       Resolutions, by definition, are resolute. They are concrete, absolute, “personal laws” that are placed upon ourselves.

•       Creating these “personal laws” in recovery (whether it’s substances or behaviors like emotional dependency) can create high expectations: (remember the saying,” high expectations can lead to premeditated resentments.”)

•       Having plans for recovery is important, but creating an absolute in recovery may lead to setbacks from stress, fear of failure, and desire for perfection. We thrive when focusing on progress vs. focusing on perfection, so for some, they may not work.

Intentions

•       An intention is a positive call to action about something you want to do rather than something you don’t want to do but feel that you “should.”

•       They are reasonable goals to be reached, transformation of mindset or attitude, and an intent for positive change.

•       If we stray from our positive intention, we can pause, reflect, and get back on track.

•       Intentions are a way to complement and help you progress on your personal healing and recovery journey.

Mindset is quite the buzzword these days, isn’t it? As a life coach, I use it quite often myself. I believe that with a positive, healthy mindset, we have the power to heal, grow, recover, evolve, and achieve our goals. It sounds like a lot to place in one’s frame of mind, but think about it: if we’re stagnant and negative, how much can we achieve? First, we need to know what our mindset is before we can change it. Thanks to Carol Dweck, a researcher at Stanford University, we now know there are two types of mindsets: Fixed and Growth.