managing Triggers

Photo by Robert McGowan on Unsplash

Learning how to identify and then manage our triggers is one of the most important part our journeys toward a healthy lifestyle. It can also be one of the most challenging, so it’s important to make sure you give yourself grace as move through this part of your recovery and healing.

We need to learn:

•       What they are

•       How to avoid them

•       How to manage them

We begin, as with most things in our recovery, by tuning into our bodies. What is telling us? We can use some of my favorite acronyms, HALT or BLAST:

H       Hungry                B       Bored

A       Angry                  L       Lonely

L       Lonely                 A      Angry

T       Tired                   S       Stressed

                                    T       Tired

When we’re feeling any of these things, we can be more susceptible to our triggers. Identifying, and then addressing these feelings, can help us keep ahead of our triggers and keep us grounded in the present.

We also need to identify the people, places, and things that cause us to want to act out in an unhealthy way. Again, tuning into our body can help identify the first sign of a trigger.

Notice:

·      Rapid/Shallow breathing

·      Racing thoughts

·      Rapid heartbeat

·      Sweating

·      Trembling

·      Jaw clenching

·      Feelings of wanting to isolate/withdraw

·      Thoughts of justifications

·      Thoughts of rationalizations

·      Negative self-talk

Ideally, we try to avoid the things that trigger us until we’ve learned how to manage them healthily.

These can include:

•       People, places, and things that aren’t healthy for you.

•       People you acted out with

•       Apps/websites used for unhealthy behavior

•       Places you went to use or isolate

•       Things that led you down that path: drugs, alcohol, money In your pocket

Risky Behaviors:

·      Going back to old “haunts”

·      No fun recovery activities

·      Phone calls/texts to old using friends

·      Watching movies/shows that promote use

·      Not enough recovery support/meetings

·      Not time management skills

·      Too much Idle Time

·      Unhealthy relationship(s)

Sometimes you can’t get away from people, places or things. This is when it’s important to learn how to manage triggers.

Manage:

•       Acceptance: Rather than try to control things in our lives, we learn how to accept them and let go of trying to direct everyone and every situation.

•       In part from the Big Book:

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I’m disturbed, it’s because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of life – unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it’s supposed to be at this moment. Nothing happens in this world by mistake. Until I could accept my *addiction, I couldn’t stay sober unless I accepted life completely on life’s terms. I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.

Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaws in every person, and every situation. I was always glad to point it out because I knew you wanted perfection just like I did. Acceptance has taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us.”

Here are some examples:

•       People: We can’t control their mood, their life, etc. but we can love and accept them for who they are while not taking on their emotions. Sometimes loving someone from a distance is okay until you’re in an emotionally better place.

•       Locations: We can’t always control our environment, but we can accept it and prepare for it rather than stress about what may or may not happen. Just like our recovery toolkit and go-bag, it’s better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

•       Things: We can’t stop our car from breaking down or a bill from being due, but we can accept that it may happen and prepare. We can keep the car maintained, put money aside each month for bills, etc.

•       We can be mindful that we are doing things to the best of our ability. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and putting trust in other people. Sometimes that means standing back and letting someone else take the wheel. We don’t always have to be the driver of the car of life.

Tips for Managing Triggers in Real Time

•       Reframe your brain: It can help to shift your thinking from, “I can’t do this anymore” to “I have a great life because I’m not doing that anymore.”

•       Practice Box Breathing

•       Write and then write some more, Draw, etc.

•       Face the trigger! Talk to it. Lessen it’s power.

•       Create a positive playlist, reading list, podcast list

•       Self-care: eat, sleep, exercise

•       Talk to someone: trusted source, ally, coach, counselor, sponsor etc.

If you have any questions, please let me know. I answer my emails, with no strings attached. I’m here to help!

 Sending everyone happy and healthy vibes,

Life Coach Laura