Trick Or Treat: Myths of Recovery
I admit it. I'm not a fan of the cold weather. In fact, I despise it. While my husband is walking around in shorts in 40-degree weather, I'm breaking out my favorite fuzzy socks when it's in the 60s. But we can reframe things to look for the good, right? With the cooler weather comes the beautiful colors of the fall leaves, the crisp air, and one of my favorite holidays: Halloween.
Today, I'm sharing a fun tradition I had with my recovery group. They loved it: Trick or Treat. Are the following false or true?
Trick Or Treat? (False or True?)
Addiction is a choice!
Trick!
Addiction is not a choice. It's a brain disease. Using our drug of choice can change how our brain works, and sometimes those changes may last for a long time.
The good news? Neuroplasticity! This means our brains are malleable. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change and adapt throughout life. When we learn new things or have new experiences, our brain forms new pathways and connections and can even reorganize itself.
This flexibility helps us recover from injuries, learn new skills, adapt to new situations, and wait for it…retrain our brain away from addiction! It's our brain's way of rewiring itself based on what we do and experience, and the more new positive things we do, the more positive pathways we create. Exciting, huh?
Trick Or Treat?
In every episode of Seinfeld, there is a Spiderman somewhere.
Trick
Okay, this one was sneaky because Superman is featured in every episode. Jerry Seinfeld is a big fan of Superman because he is known for being a hero and being perfect. Oddly enough, the "show about nothing" has characters who are often flawed, not usually heroes.
Trick or Treat?
Dopamine plays a part in addiction.
Treat! Wait, how is this a treat? You’ll see…
While dopamine isn't the sole cause of addiction, its motivational properties play a role in addiction. The reward center in your brain releases dopamine in response to pleasurable experiences.
Here’s the exciting part…everything from eating good food to creating art to watching a funny movie can trigger similar responses from your brain's reward center, not just harmful activities or substances: HOPE for NEW pathways!
Trick or Treat?
Rachel from Friends says, "We were on break!"
Trick!
Nope. It was Ross, and it sparked quite a stir back in the day. I'm not even sure people still watch Friends these days, but if you do, what do you think?
Trick or Treat
Shiny new things (big ticket items, relationships, etc.) will bring self-esteem.
Trick!
Distraction is not the answer. Shiny new things can initially boost your mood or excitement but won't provide lasting self-esteem. Self-esteem comes from within and draws from your own self-acceptance, values, and accomplishments, not external factors.
Shiny new things might feel fulfilling at first, but if you rely solely on them for self-worth, you may find that those feelings fade once the novelty wears off. Building genuine self-esteem involves:
Understanding and valuing yourself.
Setting personal goals.
Developing self-compassion rather than depending on external validation.
You can't buy self-esteem. Next time you want to buy that shiny object, invest all of yourself in other people or unhealthy behaviors; invest that time in your recovery, healing, and self-care. Apply the Meet It, Greet It and Transform It Method to manage your emotions if they're becoming overwhelming. Be comfortable with yourself because you're a superstar! Remember, it doesn't happen overnight.
Trick or Treat
Before 1903, parents could mail their kids to Grandma's – through the postal service.
Trick
It was 1913. How can this be true? Is the Internet lying to me again???
Trick or Treat
You have self-esteem, or you don't.
Trick
It can feel so elusive and out of reach that many people think they will never have a better sense of self. However, self-esteem is learned through interactions with the world and the people around us.
Self-esteem is a process that evolves over time.
It needs interaction with others and the world. You will grow each time you interact in the world and have positive experiences of yourself. Positive experiences of yourself include triumphing over hardship and rejection.
Challenge yourself to develop relationships and interests that make you feel whole and grounded. Get rid of toxic relationships that bring out the worst in you.
Trick or Treat
Addiction can happen to anyone.
True (somehow saying treat doesn't seem right)
Addiction can happen to anyone, no matter their upbringing, personality type, or grade point average. Genetic, social, and psychological risk factors put some at greater risk—and it has nothing to do with a person's character.
Trick or Treat
In Switzerland, it is illegal to own just one guinea pig.
Treat!
How adorable is this? No more lonely guinea pigs…as long as the Internet didn't fib to me. I hope not because this is too sweet.
Trick or Treat
Porn addiction isn't real.
Trick!
It's an actual condition with real consequences. Whether or not it's in the DSM, it has become a major problem around the world, affecting millions of people, relationships, and families. Including my own.
The good news? The World Health Organization recognized compulsive sexual behavior disorder in its International Classification of Diseases. Change is coming!
Bonus Trick or Trick on this topic:
Prolonged porn use does not affect behavior.
Trick!
Many people who have been watching pornography for a long time find it challenging to be a part of social gatherings. They have reported difficulty conforming to society's norms. They feel uncomfortable around people, knowing they have this "secret" life.
Some males experience PIED (porn-induced erectile dysfunction). This phenomenon is thought to occur because frequent exposure to porn can alter sexual arousal patterns and expectations, making it more challenging for some individuals to feel aroused in real-life situations. What is the good? Through recovery, people learn to grow, connect, and thrive! Just like my husband.
Trick or Treat
Bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun.
Treat!
I love the sun too, bananas! (Notice the importance of comma placement?)
Trick or Treat
Setbacks are failures.
Trick!
It's a lapse in your sobriety that can be corrected. It's an opportunity to grow, learn, and move forward.
The key?
Don't blow it off. Acknowledge it happened. Know your triggers. Know why it happened. Allow yourself to feel those feelings. See the above-mentioned Meet It, Greet It, and Transform It Methods. Have a plan of action to keep it from happening again, and don't beat yourself up. We use setbacks as growth opportunities. We talk back to the addict voice and the negative self-talk until we realize we are superstars!
Relapse is not a failure. It is a lapse in sobriety — a lapse that can be corrected and used as a learning opportunity.
Trick or Treat
A baby spider is called a spiderling.
Treat (but not a treat, because, well, spiders).
This is true, but why did I include spiders? Because it's Halloween, and it's time to be creeped out, I guess. So, yay me. I freaked myself out. I used to own snakes; I'm not afraid of cockroaches (not that I want to see them) or any other bugs, but spiders. No thanks. So why did they name their babies something so cute? It’s a trap!
It does help me to know that some researchers believe that a fear of spiders may have developed as a survival mechanism.
Trick or Treat?
An addict must hit rock bottom before they will reach out for help.
Trick!
Not every person is the same. We're all unique, and that means no one's path to recovery is the same. One person may hit physical rock bottom—where there's nothing left to lose—while another may experience a more emotional desire to change and move in a more positive direction.
The important thing to focus on is WHY. Why do you want to change? How will you make that change? Yes! You can make that change!
Trick or Treat?
Mary Poppins said, "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun."
Treat!
Yes, and she sang a lot of great songs, too! Do you know any of them?
Also, recovery can be fun too. Challenging, but fun to learn new things about recovery and add things to your recovery toolkit.
Trick or Treat?
Addiction is the same for everyone.
Trick!
It can vary from person to person. A person who always looks for comfort in their "drug of choice" after an emotional event won't act out consistently or in a daily routine, but because they perceive pleasure and reward related to acting out, they will have a hard time stopping when faced with emotional adversity.
Others who use daily may also be considered struggling if their use is interfering with their daily lives: relationships, jobs, health, emotional well-being, etc.
If you feel you're struggling, that's all that matters. Whether it's drugs, alcohol, shopping, pornography, sex, gambling, eating, etc. It's your life and your journey. Don't compare; just inspire your own change!
Trick or Treat?
2% of American adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
Trick!
It's 7%, which I’m hoping is another Internet misleading fact.
I prefer Yoo-hoo, which has no milk.
Trick or Treat?
There is no hope of recovering. Ever. So we should give up and listen to the addict's voice when it says we're worthless and we never amount to anything.
Want to know what I'd say to the addict's voice? Here's a small taste: I’m not worthless. I’m stronger than you think I am and I don’t believe what you’re what you’re telling me. I’m a fighter. I deserve to be free from your negativity and want to maintain my emotional sobriety.
There's always hope. I don't believe in stopping the fight against addiction. I think that everyone is worthy of healing, everyone can recover, and we have the power to do it whether we know it or not. We must find a good support system because it takes others walking beside us to help us succeed. You can fight the addict's voice. You can tell it to fuck off and remove its power. It doesn't deserve to live rent-free in your head. That's your safe space, so evict that wretch.
Sending everyone happy and healthy vibes,
Life Coach Laura
