SETBACK PREVENTION PLAN PART TWO
In my last post, we did the first half of the Setback Prevention Plan. This plan is designed to help you have a proactive approach toward your recovery versus a reactive one. This is a great way to handle challenging moments, urges, situations, and emotions that may lead you to a setback in recovery and healing.
If you have a setback, come back, and evaluate what needs to be adjusted in your Setback Prevention Plan. Remember, this is a no-shame zone. Dust yourself off, learn from the setback, and keep moving forward.
We’ll pick it up with:
IDENTIFYING A SLIPPERY SLOPE
Awareness plays a key role in our recovery and healing. Understanding the signs of when we’re on a slippery slope can help us from experiencing a setback or relapse. Remember my Frog in the Water parable from last week? If a frog is placed in boiling water, it will know it's in danger and immediately jump out. But if a frog is placed in cool water that is gradually heated, it will not realize the danger until it's too late. What does that have to do with recovery? It's an excellent metaphor that we can sometimes be unaware of risks around us because they can happen gradually.
Setbacks are a gradual process. They start with the slippery slope of small changes in your thinking or behaviors: isolation, angry outbursts, lies, romanticizing past use, and then escalate from there.
You’ve done a great job identifying high-risk situations and triggers. Now let’s focus on recovery and healing tools. The more tools you put in your recovery toolkit, the more opportunities you’ll have to find something that works for you. The more tools, the less likely you’ll make an unhealthy choice.
Feel free to take the spaghetti approach. In our house, we used to test the noodles by throwing a few against the wall. If they stuck, it was done cooking, if it didn’t, it still had more time left in the pot. The point is, that if one tool doesn’t work, try another to see if it will stick.
Keep in mind, that what might not work in one moment may be what’s needed in another or may be a fit for you further into your journey.
When we’re in recovery and healing, it’s important not to do it alone. We need to have a Sobriety Circle and/or a Healing Hive. This can be anyone from a counselor, life coach, sponsor, or trusted friend. You can also do this by attending a support group or 12-step meeting.
If you're in a relationship with someone, it's important to remember that your partner cannot be your accountability partner and vice versa.
Recovery/Healing Mission Statement (R.H.M.S): Write a short statement of how you see yourself and where your recovery and healing will lead you.
Create a WHY Statement: Why did you decide to make this change? What is your purpose for wanting long-lasting sobriety and healing?
Affirmation Cards: Design creative affirmation cards with affirmation statements. IE: “I am worthy” “I am stronger than my triggers” “I am enough”
Recovery & Healing Go-Bag: Items in a bag to use when a trigger occurs. Engages all senses.IE: lotion, water, journal, fidget toy What’s in your bag?
Create a list of favorite hobbies, passions, and something you wanted to learn before you started struggling:
List of distraction tools you can use: IE grounding techniques, deep breathing, exercise, organization, journal, garden, clean.
SUPPORT SYSTEM
Write down who makes up your Sobriety Circle and/or Healing Hive. If you don’t have one, what’s one thing you can do today to create one?
If your journey includes an accountability partner, who is it? (Keep in mind, it shouldn’t be your loved one). If you don’t have one yet, what’s one thing you can do today to find one?
If your journey includes rehab, therapy, life coaching, or other options, who are they or what would you like to include in the future?
STRONG URGES
Strong urges are going to happen. Especially at the beginning of your journey. The good news is, they’re manageable. The better news is, that the more tools you have and practiced in your recovery toolkit, the easier they are to manage. The betterer news is that the longer you’re into your recovery, the less intense the urges become.
There are several tools specifically designed to keep you from succumbing to the urge. Keep in mind:
They need to be practiced in moments of calm
There are several moments of opportunity when the urge hits to intervene so it doesn’t turn into a setback.
Remember my favorite word? Awareness, awareness, awareness. The very moment you feel the urge or craving is your first chance to intervene. This is when self-awareness is crucial. Instead of reacting impulsively, acknowledge the urge, pause to assess your emotions, and use one of your tools.
Take a moment to pause and breathe. What are your favorite kind of breathing techniques? IE Box, deep, 4,7,8
Urge Surf: Can you observe an urge without acting on it, allowing it to pass like a wave? Notice the urge, focus on your breathing, and remind yourself that it will pass. Describe the sensations in your body (IE tightness, restlessness) as you wait for the wave to subside:
5-Minute Rule: Delay acting on the urge for five minutes, pause, breathe, then choose a distraction. IE Call/text someone, exercise, clean. What works for you?
Challenge the Urge: “There are healthier ways to deal with stress.” What can you come up with?
Try to apply the S.O.B.E.R. Technique: S: Stop. O: Observe your emotions and physical reactions. B: Breathe. E: Expand your awareness. R: Respond with a healthy response. What is your healthy response?
Play the script until the end: Ask yourself, “What will happen if I give in to the urge?” “How will I feel if I resist the urge and stay on track?”
LONG-TERM SUPPORT
What recovery support can you commit to every week? IE: Meetings, group
What plans do have for accountability? IE: Sponsor, life coach, accountability partner
Do you plan to track your progress? If so, how? IE: App, journal, program
CELEBRATE YOURSELF
Celebrating our wins, big or small, keeps us motivated and engaged in the recovery and healing process. You can celebrate yourself with anything that can help remind you of your success.
It doesn't have to break the bank. Some examples are charms, coins, stamps, key tags or keys, unique shells or rocks you find on a walk, special treats, etc.
When you hit a milestone, make sure you celebrate yourself. You deserve it! Share your success with your supportive family and friends.
What can you do to celebrate yourself today?
STEPS AFTER A SETBACK
For most people, setbacks are a part of the addiction recovery journey. That doesn't mean every single person will experience them, but many will. When they happen, the important thing to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and learn from them. The last thing we want is to wrap ourselves up in a blanket of shame. That’s why we want to focus on the steps to take after a setback, versus the setback itself.
We want to make sure that we recognize a setback happened. No justifications. No more living in a world of denial and lies. We've got to acknowledge the setback occurred and choose acceptance.
Yes, it feels terrible. But that doesn't make you a horrible person. Your setback nor your disease defines you. That progress isn't erased if you had sixty days or six days of progress. It's still there. Everything you learned, the tools you put in your recovery toolkit, is still there. No one can take that away from you. Give yourself grace without minimizing what happened. Remember, your addiction is a disease.
In the wise words of Mitch Hedberg. (RIP) “Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Damn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Damn it Otto, you have Lupus...which one of those two doesn't sound right?” And while that may seem like a disheartening sentiment, it shows that for many, addiction is still misunderstood, but it's getting better with each passing day.
STEPS AFTER A SETBACK
Who is a safe person to reach out to in your Sobriety Circle/Healing Hive?
Trigger Evaluation: What needs to be changed in your trigger identification?
What lesson can be learned from the setback?
What changes need to be made to your Setback Prevention Plan?
How can you prevent feelings of shame from setting in?
What is the good? Instead of asking yourself, “What good is it?” Ask yourself, “What is the good?”
While we don't want setbacks to happen, they can be a part of many of our journeys. The important thing is to hold space for yourself or your loved one and not jump to judgment or shame. We need to embrace self-compassion and then recommit to our healthy habits again. You're not alone. I'm in your corner, and I'm rooting for you!
If you have any questions, please let me know. I answer my emails, with no strings attached. I’m here to help!
Sending everyone happy and healthy vibes,
Laura
